


Communication 101

by MsImpala67



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, M/M, Misunderstandings, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Slow Burn, Switching, all kind of smut, bottom!Jared, bottom!Jensen, high school teacher!Jared, top!Jared, top!Jensen, while still having sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 08:12:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15408726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsImpala67/pseuds/MsImpala67
Summary: Jared Padalecki is a high school teacher, and his life is fine. But sometimes, fine isn't good enough.After a one night stand leaves him feeling a little awkward, he agrees to be set up by a fellow teacher, who swears her brother is perfect for him. But when the one night stand unexpectedly comes back into his life, things become complicated.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy! XOXO

Jared's head feels fuzzy. That's not unusual after a night of drinking, but  it's an unsettling feeling when he's not in his own bed.

The  blinding morning sun is reduced to a subtle glow by the curtains over  the window, simple blue panels that cover the view to the street, two  stories below. It takes a minute, but Jared remembers where he is,  remembers the night before. He inwardly groans.

A one night stand?

It's not Jared's style. He had exactly one fling in college, and decided the  next day that no matter how good the sex was, it wasn't worth going  home with a stranger. It left him empty, and the contrast between the  physical satisfaction and the strange loneliness that came with it  wasn't something he wanted to relive. It made him feel...well, _wrong_ somehow. Off his rhythm.

But last night, he had broken his rule.

Jared holds back a sigh and carefully slides out of the bed, moving it as  little as possible. The sleeping body next to him doesn't stir, and Jared looks down at him once he's free of the mattress.

_Jensen_.  His name is Jensen, Jared remembers. And he's fucking beautiful. So  beautiful that Jared can't even blame himself for breaking the rules. No  one could.

And the sex...well, Jared's not going to forget it any time soon. He has the bruises to remind him.

But  he's gotta get out of here. He has nothing to say to Jensen. They don't  know each other at all, and lying in bed naked after a night of fucking  each other senseless isn't really a good time to ask a last name. With  his face burning, Jared silently looks around for his clothes.

He  manages to get his jeans and t-shirt on without waking Jensen. He can  carry his shoes, and he left his jacket and keys by the door in the main  room of the apartment. Easy to sneak out. No harm, no foul, right?

But  as he gives Jensen one last glance, he just can't do it. Maybe it's  just a sense of politeness, manners ingrained in him that he can't let  go of. Or maybe it's the pink of Jensen's lips and the dark of his long  eyelashes. 

Jared can't just leave.

There's  a small desk in one corner of the room. Jared grabs a pen and the tiny  notepad that appears to be stolen from a hotel. He can write a note.  Jensen won't feel snubbed, and he won't have to endure an awkward  conversation.

But all he gets on the paper is “Jensen-”

“Givin' me the brush off?”

Jensen's voice is low and rough, too loud in the quiet, and it makes Jared jump.

He drops the pen and turns around, a fixed smile on his face. “Didn't want to wake you up.”

“No worries. There's no rush, you know. I'm not kicking you out.”

“No,  I mean, I didn't think you-” Jared stops and takes a breath. “I know.  But I have to get going. I have to work this morning.”

“On a Saturday?”

“Yes.”

Jensen shrugs. “Be late. I'll make some coffee.”

Jared shakes his head and stands up. “I really can't be late. The kids will-”

“Kids?”

“Yeah.”  This is more than Jared meant to share, but it doesn't really matter  now, does it? “I'm a teacher. My kids are doing Dracula for our senior  play this year, and we have rehearsals this morning.”

Jensen  sits up, seemingly unconcerned that the sheet falls down and Jared can  see everything, including how excited Jensen's body is to be awake.  “Wait. You're a teacher?”

“Yeah?” Jared frowns, wondering why Jensen looks so shocked. “Why?”

“Nothing, that's awesome. Just. I didn't know teachers...”

“Went home with random guys from the bar where they got really drunk?”

Jensen laughs. “Exactly.”

“You'd be amazed at all the normal people things teachers do. I even cuss sometimes.”

Jensen smirks. “I know. I remember you using certain dirty words a lot last night.”

Jared looks down at his own bare feet, curls his toes in Jensen's shaggy rug. “Yeah, well. I really do have to go.”

“Oh,  don't be shy. Last night was fun.” Jensen stands up and stretches,  still naked, and Jared notices that he has a few bruises of his own.

“It was.”

“You really have to leave? There isn't another teacher doing this with you that can just take over for today?”

As  Jared shakes his head no, he can't help but look at Jensen, tall and  broad, hard muscles and soft skin still flushed with sleep. His own cock  stirs in his jeans, and he swallows hard. Jensen's smirk turns into a  teasing grin.

Jared sighs and pulls his phone out of his pocket. “Gimme a minute.”

Jensen nods. “I'll be in the kitchen.”

Jared pretends not to notice that Jensen grabs a condom from the nightstand on his wait out.

It  takes a couple of minutes for Jared to convince Erin, his poor fellow  teacher he had charmed into helping out, to take over until he can get  there.

“I'm sorry. But something came up.”

“What?” she asks. “What came up on a Saturday morning that's more important than this? I don't know what I'm doing, you know. I'm just supposed to keep you organized.”

“It's...it's  personal. But I'll be there as soon as I can, I promise.” Jared puts as  much contrition into his voice as he can, even as a wave of guilt  washes over him.

But Jensen is really fucking hot. And this is Jared's last chance to enjoy that.

“Fine,”  Erin sighs. Jared can practically see her running her hands through her  short hair, making it stand up in thick spikes. “I'll do my best. But  hurry.”

“You're the best.”

He  hangs up and heads toward the kitchen and the smell of coffee. But it's  not coffee that Jensen's offering when Jared walks in.

Jensen  is sitting on the small kitchen counter, legs spread, his arm stretched  down so two fingers can lazily thrust in and out of his hole, slick  with spit.

_Holy fucking shit._

This  is straight out of some porn, some classier-than-normal porn, with  granite counter tops and sleek stainless steel everywhere. Jensen's hair  is still fluffy and sticking up everywhere, but there's no trace of  little boy having just woken up. He's biting his lip and staring at  Jared as he stretches himself open, no shame or shyness in him at all.

Jared's  cock hardens so fast it hurts, and he groans when Jensen spreads his  legs farther, leaning back against the cabinets, and holds the condom  out to Jared.

“I fucked you last night. It's your turn.”

Jared  shivers at the words, can't find any to say back. This has to be a  dream. Some crazy hot dream. There is just no way this is Jared's actual  life.

But the tile is cold against his feet, and he can hear the buzz of the running refrigerator, and he knows this is real.

His  pants are off in record time, and he walks forward, lets Jensen grab  his shirt and twist it in his fist as he pulls him between his legs,  thighs locking around his waist. The condom slides on quickly and Jensen  barely takes the time to kiss him, just whispers against Jared's lips.

“Fuck me hard and fast, okay? Make me remember you when you're gone.”

It's like he read Jared's mind earlier, and Jared wonders where this guy came from. Maybe he's a gift from the universe to make up for all the bad first dates Jared's had over the last year.

Jared only nods, not trusting himself to say anything, knowing it will come out cheesy or embarrassing instead of sexy.

Jensen slides the condom on quickly, squirms a little until he gets Jared's cock directly against his hole, wet and ready, the nods just once.

Jared pushes in, faster and harder than he normally would, because that's what Jensen asked for. God, he feels good.

“Fuck,” Jensen groans, letting his eyes flutter a little as he leans his head back against the cabinet.

Jared watches his face as he slams in again, deeper this time, not stopping until their bodies are smashed together. Never in any of his sexual encounters has Jared felt this free. With the exception of his one serious relationship that lasted almost seven years, he's always been a little self-conscious. Afraid to try anything too kinky or dirty, not wanting to seem like a freak or make his partner uncomfortable. There were always very conservative boundaries, and no other relationship lasted long enough for him to get past them.

But not with Jensen. There are no boundaries to this relationship because it isn't a relationship. Jared's free to act as slutty as he wants, because he doesn't have to look Jensen in the eye later.

So he fucks him as hard and fast as he can, does his best to fulfill Jensen's request.

And fuck, it's good. Jensen doesn't hold back his moans and groans, low and almost animalistic. Jared leans forward and nips at his throat, unable to resist, wanting to get as close as possible as he thrusts inside him again and again.

They come at the same time, Jared's hand stroking Jensen's dick, Jensen clenching around Jared's cock, loud and long orgasms that leave them huddled together, sweaty and panting.

Slowly, Jared pulls out and goes to the bathroom, where he throws away the condom and cleans himself up before pulling his pants back on, then his shoes.

When he goes back to the kitchen, Jensen has put underwear on, and has two mugs sitting next to the full coffee pot.

“Only if you have time,” he says, gesturing to them. “I know you have to get to work.”

Suddenly, everything feels awkward. Jared doesn't know him well enough to know if it's a sincere offer, or if he's just being polite. And Jared is confused now, wondering why he's still here, why he's letting himself get caught up in some guy who he'll never see again.

“I, uh. I probably need to get going.”

Jensen nods.

“But thanks.”

“Sure.”

“I'll just, uh.”

“I'll walk you to the door.”

It's only a few steps, and Jared feels exposed, isn't sure what to do with his face or his arms, isn't sure how he's supposed to say goodbye. Should he kiss Jensen? Ask for his number? Say something witty and charming but final?

Jensen grabs Jared's jacket and holds it out to him, then opens the door. “It was fun meeting you.”

His smile is big and real, but there's a formality to his tone, a distance that wasn't there before.

So. No kiss then.

“I had fun, too,” Jared says, shrugging his jacket on and sticking his hands in his pockets.

“Bye, Jared.”

There is no mistaking what that means, so Jared heads out the door.

“Bye, Jensen.”

Jared can walk to the school from here, no need to get a cab, and he breathes the city air in deep as he makes his way down the street. It clears his thoughts, and he almost laughs at himself.

_That's exactly why you don't do one night stands._

But even as he has the thought, even as he shakes his head to get rid of the awkward feeling still inside of him, he wonders if it was really so bad. Sure, he got the brush off. And sure, he's a little embarrassed.

But holy shit, did he have fun.

Jared's feeling better by the time he walks into the school's auditorium. Being on the busy street with the rest of the world put a little space between him and the night before, and he can get back to his normal routine now.

Until he runs into Katie.

“You had sex,” she says, looking him up and down.

“What?” he asks, caught completely off guard.

“You had sex last night. Those are the same clothes you wore to the bar last night. You were staring at that super hot guy at the pool table when I left, and now you're here in the same clothes and your hair is all messed up. You went home with him.”

She's equally scandalized and impressed, grinning at him with nothing but curiosity, and he can't help but smile back. “None of your business. What are you even doing here? It's Saturday.”

“I left some papers here that I need to grade before Monday, and I needed an hour with the copy machine without a line of people from the English department waiting behind me. I thought I'd come see some of your rehearsal. But enough about me. You had sex.”

Jared rolls his eyes. “Yes, I did. And I don't want to talk about it.”

“You gonna see him again? Or is it a one and done kind of thing?”

Jared tries to step around her, but she blocks his path, taking up a lot of space for such a tiny woman. “I'm not going to see him again,” he tells her.

She tilts her head. “Did you have fun?”  
Jared can't help but blush. “I really did.”

“Well, good, then. You deserve some fun.”

Jared knows it's not all she wants to say, so he waits, his answer already on the tip of his tongue.

“You know, my brother-”

Jared cuts her off. “I don't want to date your brother.”

“Why not?”

“Because he's probably as annoying as you,” he teases, finally moving around her and heading into to rehearsal.

Katie follows him. “I know you'd like him. You and JR have a lot in common, and he-”

“He's a pity set up.” Jared turns and reaches out to squeeze Katie's shoulders. “Look, I'm sure he's great, and I appreciate the thought. But I don't want a set up. It's too weird.”

“I'll wear you down someday,” she says, but Jared knows he's won this round.

Katie's been asking Jared to go out with her brother since she found out he was gay. At this point, it's a lost cause, but she's persistent. Jared thinks it's sweet, but is looking forward to the day she actually listens when he says no.

Erin interrupts them. “Jared! You're here!”

The relief in her voice makes him laugh.

“Yes, I'm here.”

He takes a deep breath, all thoughts of blind dates and one night stands forgotten as a chorus of kids shout “Mr. Padalecki!”

Now, all of his energy is focused on finding out why Dracula is dressed like a glam rocker instead of an ancient vampire.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“What do you think, Mr. P?”

Jared  pauses a second to take in the whole stage where everyone else is  standing, and then nods. “Yeah, I think it works. And if you move to the  other side of the table as you're talking, you're already next to Dylan  when he lunges at you. It makes that next bit a lot smoother.”

He  takes another second to visualize it in his mind, then nods. “Okay,  let's do that scene one more time, and then we're done for the day.”

It  will take the students a few minutes to set it all up again, and he  looks down at the pile of quizzes at his feet. He should be grading them  during this downtime, but it can probably wait. He's not in the mood.

Katie slides into the seat next to him, startling him out of his thoughts. “Whatcha doin'?”

Jared doesn't miss a beat. “Scuba diving.”

She snorts a laugh and settles deeper into her seat. “Is this thing gonna win an Oscar or what?”

“Oscars are for movies, not plays.”

This time, she grabs his arm and doesn't let go until he looks at her. “You okay?”

Her worried frown cuts through his sarcasm. “Yeah, sorry. Just a long week. I'm ready to go home.”

“That's what you get for having Friday afternoon practice. Just go home.”

“It beats coming in tomorrow. I don't want to get out of bed, let alone come to school.”  


She frowns at him again, but doesn't say anything.

They  watch the scene again, better this time, and she hangs around while  Jared dismisses the students after a giving them the next week's  rehearsal schedule.

“Wanna grab dinner? We could maybe see a movie, if you're up for it.”

“Thanks, " he says, "but I'll take a rain check. I really just want to go home.”

“Seriously, are you okay? You haven't seemed like yourself lately.”

Jared smiles at her. “Thanks. But I'm fine. Just need a weekend off.”

“You know what else might help?” A smile creeps into her voice, and Jared rolls his eyes.

“I'm not going out with your brother.”

“One day! I'll wear you down, Padalecki!”

Later  that night, finally alone at home, Jared realizes it's the second time  he's ordered pizza this week. He grabs a beer from the refrigerator and  promises himself he'll go to the gym tomorrow, though all he can think  about is binge watching the latest season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

It's been a hard week.

But  that's not exactly true. It's been a long week, but not an unusually  stressful one. In fact, it's been a long month. And Jared doesn't know  why.

The  play is coming along. Almost everyone knows their lines, and the sets  will be ready in the next couple of weeks. It's taking a lot of time,  and Jared feels like he practically lives at the school now, but it's  good. The kids are having a great time, and it's going to be a decent  show.

School  is going well, no major issues to deal with, all of his classes running  smoothly. In fact, Jared's running on muscle memory from the year  before, teaching the same lessons after updating them, no need to spend  hours and hours reinventing his class.

But  he's been so tired lately. And while he's not frustrated about anything  in particular, he's found himself irritable for no reason. Other times,  he's practically crawling out of his skin with the need to go out, see a  movie, go on some adventurous vacation.

He's bored and depressed. And he can't figure out why.

But  as he stares at his pizza and television, he thinks it probably has  something to do with the fact that he spends every single night doing  exactly this.

Alone.

Against  his better judgment, he has a few more beers, because it's Friday night  and no one is counting. But being buzzed when he's in this mood is  never a good idea, because soon he has his cell phone out, trying to  find something to relieve the dark cloud hovering around him.

He could call Katie and go out, get a few drinks, see a movie or watch bad karaoke.

But he doesn't really have the energy for that.

Instead, he scrolls through until he lands on Jensen's number.

He'd  forgotten he even had Jensen's number. He got it at the bar before he  decided to just go home with him instead of calling him sometime. And  after their night (and morning) together, Jared had known he wasn't  going to use it, and eventually forgot it was still sitting there in his  phone.

Tonight, the number teases him.

Jensen  was certainly not boring. Their night together might not have led to  happily ever after, but it was hot and dirty and exciting, so different  from the rest of Jared's normal, lonely life.

Before he thinks too much about it, he texts Jensen.

***Hey, it's Jared, the teacher from the bar.***

It only takes a few minutes for his phone to buzz with the reply.

***Hey Jared, teacher from the bar. Been a while.***

Jared  doesn't know how to respond to that, can't quite read the tone. Does  Jensen want to talk to him, or did he just feel obligated to reply?

It takes him a few minutes and several deleted sentences, but Jared finally sends a second message.

***Yeah. My friend invited me out to the same bar where we met. Made me think of you.***

There.  It's flirty, in case Jensen wants to flirt back, but casual enough that  Jared doesn't need to be embarrassed if he doesn't.

***You're there now?***

The question catches him off guard. Does Jensen want to meet him there or something?

***No, I didn't go.***

It only takes a minute for Jensen to answer.

***That's a shame.***

Jared grins in spite of himself. This is definitely flirty territory, and this is why he messaged Jensen in the first place.

***Why is that?***

Jared  puts his phone down and takes another drink of his beer, then calmly  takes the pizza box to the kitchen to put the leftovers away. He  pretends the entire time like his heart isn't beating a little faster,  like he isn't holding back a smile at the thought of what Jensen might  say next.

Only Jensen never says anything.

Jared  waits and waits, but he never gets another text. He watches his fill of  Brooklyn Nine-Nine, trying hard not to be disappointed, then gets in  bed feeling even worse than before. He never should have messaged him,  never should have let himself get that tipsy and stupid.

Just as he's falling asleep, his phone buzzes from his nightstand.

***Because I went out tonight, and it sucked. You would have made it more interesting.***

Wide  awake now, Jared tries to think of a witty reply, but he comes up with  nothing. He's too scared to say anything too forward, not sure if Jensen  wants him to, not sure if he'll sound stupid, not sure if he wants to  go down this road again anyway. So instead of putting himself out there,  he plays it safe.

***I would have?***

Let Jensen chase him if he wants him.

But then, that's ridiculous. Because Jared doesn't want to be chased. Does he?

As  he waits for a reply, he thinks about everything he knows about Jensen.  He knows Jensen is gorgeous. He knows that Jensen is a fantastic fuck.  And that's about it. He knows that he's good at pool, and that he had  classic rock music playing in his car (which Jared isn't sure about).

Does he even _want_ to flirt with Jensen? It's not going anywhere, and Jared will be alone again anyway.

***Well, you definitely made the night we met interesting. I'm sure you could do it again.***

Before Jared can answer, he gets a second text.

***What are you doing right now?***

Jared glances at his clock. It's past midnight, and there's no reason for Jensen to ask that other than the obvious.

Suddenly brave, Jared decides that if he's going to do this, he might as well _do_ this.

***Well, right now I'm lying in bed, remembering the night we hooked up.***

This time, it only takes seconds to get a reply.

***And what exactly are you remembering?***

Again, Jared decides _to hell with it_ and answers, while his cock grows half-hard in his underwear.

***How you felt inside me.***

It  takes longer for the next response, but it's well worth the wait when  Jared sees that it's a picture. He clicks on it without hesitation, and  there's Jensen's cock, hard and flushed leaking on one of Jensen's  muscular thighs.

***How** _**this** _ **felt inside of you?***

His  dick is as gorgeous as the rest of him, and Jared is fully hard and  aching now, the front of his boxers uncomfortably tight. He kicks them  off and gives his own cock a few strokes as he stares at the picture,  then sends his reply.

***I wanna see you come.***

Is  he really doing this? Has his life gotten so out of his control that  he's drunk texting a random stranger for some dirty messages?

And  despite the part of himself that isn't exactly proud of this moment,  he's too lost in it to care. It's nice to feel wanted, to play a little,  to feel like his life isn't just teaching and leftover pizza.

The next message is a video.

Jared  watches, breathless, as Jensen gives him exactly what he wanted to see.  His large hand fists around his cock, pumping up and down until he  comes, hard and quick, a loud grunt reminding Jared of that deep voice.

“Fuck,” he breathes aloud to no one.

Jared  watches it again, this time touching himself with the same rhythm  Jensen uses, imagining what it would be like to make Jensen come that  way, what it would be like to let Jensen make _him_ come that way. Hand  jobs were one thing they didn't get around to during their one night  together.

Before  he comes, he switches the lamp on and turns the camera on himself, lets  the lens see everything as he falls over the edge and makes a mess all  over his fingers. He lies in bed for a few moments afterward, catching  his breath, then gets up to wash his hands.

As  the water washes away the evidence of what he just did, he thinks it  over. He can't actually send that video. He doesn't know this guy. And he  works with kids. If anyone ever saw it...well, they probably wouldn't be  able to prove it was him. And it wasn't illegal or anything. Still, he  knew it wouldn't be looked at kindly, especially since it was a text  between two men.

He  can't send it. The rest of the texts are already damning enough, and  he can't add fuel to that potential fire with someone he doesn't know  well enough to trust.

So  instead, he sends a message telling Jensen how hot it was and how  quickly it got him off. Jensen doesn't seem to mind that Jared doesn't  offer more than that, and the conversation tapers off, leaving Jared to  finally fall asleep, only slightly less lonely than before.

He feels horrible the next morning.

As  he brushes his teeth, not bothering to shave because it's the weekend  and who cares, he scolds himself for being so pathetic. It was  practically a booty call, and that isn't who Jared is. Isn't who he  wants to be. What's wrong with him? If he's lonely, there are much  better, more fulfilling ways to take care of that problem. Like finding  someone nice to actually date, not just fuck.

And  then he thinks of the last year, all the first dates that ended with  awkward handshakes outside the restaurant, all the mindless small talk  that meant nothing, all the wasted time and energy on people who weren't  right for him. It's exhausting.

But what else is there? If this is the thing missing from his life, he has no choice but to keep trying.

He picks up his phone and heads to the living room, sprawls out on the couch in his underwear.

And he texts Katie.

***Okay. Set me up with your brother.***

********

“Jared!” Katie's voice screams down the empty hallway, one that will roar with student voices in a matter of minutes.

Jared pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs, knowing he can't avoid this. “Yeah. I'm here.”

She pokes her head in, smiling so smugly he considers tossing the stress ball that sits on his desk at her face.

“And?”

“And he's nice,” Jared says, gritting his teeth.

Katie's  brother, J.R., _is_ nice. Katie had given J.R. Jared's number, and they  had spent all of Sunday texting back and forth, getting to know each  other. He seemed funny and interested in the same kinds of things Jared  enjoyed, and Jared was already planning on asking him to get dinner  Friday night if the rest of the week went well between them.

But he didn't want to tell Katie all of that. He couldn't stand the gloating that would follow.

“Nice? That's it?”

“Katie,” he warns. “I told you I'd meet him as long as you stayed out of it from here on out.”

She holds up her hands and shakes her head. “I know, I know. I'll be good, I promise.”

The  bell rings, and she winks at him before heading out into the hallway,  the sound of the students already echoing against the lockers.

Jared  checks his phone quickly, knowing J.R. wouldn't text him this early, but  a tiny disappointed to be right. And there it is, a couple of  conversations down on the screen. Jensen.

The video is still there.

And just the thought of it makes Jared's mouth a little dry.

But  before he has time to think about it, the first of his students file  into the room, and he becomes Mr. Padalecki for the day.


	3. Chapter 3

“Are  you going out with him this weekend?” Erin drops the costumes from her  arms, letting them fall into a huge heap on the floor.

“No, he had to go out of town for work.”

“Next weekend then?” she asks.

Jared frowns, thinking about the conversations he's had with J. R. “I don't know. I'm still deciding.”

“Do you not like him?”

It's a simple question, but Jared can't find a simple answer. “He's...he's great. He's funny and we have a lot to talk about.”

Erin puts her hands on her hips and tilts her head, curious. “So what's the problem?”

There  is no problem. Jared's being honest. J.R. is funny, and they have a lot  in common. He's kind and interesting, and can keep up with Jared when  talking about their favorite books or politics. They've been texting  non-stop for almost a week now. They haven't touched on anything too  personal, no family history or birthdays or anything that might be  considered 'relationship territory'. But they've certainly gotten to  know each other on a surface level, and Jared knows this is one of the  good guys. He should be excited and eager to finally meet and go on a  date.

And he _is_.

It's just.

There's no real spark.

At least, Jared doesn't feel one.

And of course he doesn't. Not yet. He has no idea what J. R. looks like, no idea what their chemistry would be in person.

It's all Jensen's fault.

Jared  has watched that damn video of Jensen getting himself off every night  since he received it. Every night, Jared has remembered what Jensen felt  like, what he sounded like, the smell of his skin. It fucking _haunts_  him, there every time he closes his eyes or lets his mind wander for  even a moment.

It's because it was such an anomaly, Jared knows. It was out of character and unlike any other sexual experience he's had.

Or maybe it's because it was fucking amazing. The best sex Jared's ever had.

When  he meets J.R., will they have the same physical chemistry? If they  didn't, could Jared still fall for him, knowing that part of his life  would always be missing something?

“Me,” Jared sighs, smiling a little. “I'm the problem. I'm just thinking too much.”

Erin steps forward and squeezes his arm. “Well, don't.”

Jared  laughs and shakes his head, then puts his arm around her and guides her  out of the room. “Come on. We've got more costumes in the auditorium.”

Erin  chats the rest of the time they're moving the costumes, lively and  sweet, and Jared feels bad for not really listening to her. But he can't  stop thinking about his own confusion, and why he's so hung up on a one  night stand he has no desire to actually get to know.

When they do as much as they can for the day and head their separate ways, Jared checks his phone on the way to his car.

***When is rehearsal over? You free to chat later?***

Jared answers J.R.'s message.

***I'm leaving now. And sure, I'm just planning on hanging out at home tonight.***

Part  of him wants to suggest a phone call, or even a video chat. Maybe he  could learn a little more about J.R. that way. But he doesn't. Maybe  it's because this whole situation is strange and he feels awkward, or  maybe it's just because he wants to save all of that for their first  real date. Either way, he knows it will just be another night of  texting.

By  the time Jared is at home fixing his dinner, they're deep into a  discussion of Handmaid's Tale, arguing about whether the television  series has stayed true to the book. Jared is into the conversation. He  has opinions to offer, and J.R. is easy and fun to talk to.

But  it's not exactly foreplay, and Jared knows the longer they talk like  this, the more likely they are to develop a really strong friendship and  not much else. So he ends the conversation when his dinner is ready,  after making sure that J.R. wants to meet for dinner when he gets back  from his work trip. They'll both just have to wait until then.

Of course, nothing is ever that easy, and Jared's staring at his phone when he gets in bed.

Two minutes of mindless scrolling and he's looking back at his last conversation with Jensen.

Would  it be terrible to text him? He hasn't even gone out with J.R., it's not  like they owe each other anything. And it isn't like he's looking for  anything more than a fun conversation.

The real problem is _why_ he wants to text Jensen, and that's not something Jared wants to think too deeply about tonight.

***Hey***

As  soon as he sends it, he wishes he had come up with something more  clever or funny, that he had given Jensen a reason to text back.

***Hey, what's up?***

The text comes back so quickly it surprises him.

***Not too much. I was just-***

Jared cuts off the text before he sends it. He can't say he was just bored. That's rude. And a lie.

***Just wondering what you're doing.***

There. That's better.

***I was just getting ready for bed. Early day tomorrow.***

Jared  frowns at Jensen's response, then feels his face heat up in the dark of  his bedroom. Jensen's blowing him off, and of course he is. Jared's  becoming the one night stand that wouldn't leave.

Just as he's decided to put his phone away for the night and go to bed without answering, his phone buzzes again.

***Are you alone?***

What  is it about this guy? One text and Jared's already getting hard, breath  coming a little faster. And there's no reason for it. There's nothing  romantic or sweet about their interactions, nothing particularly nice  either. And Jared still texts back as fast as he can, like he'll miss an  opportunity if he doesn't.

***Yeah, why?***

***So you can make me a video? Like the one I made you? I'd love to see it.***

And there it is.

Jared  reminds himself of all the reasons that's a bad idea, but none of them  seem realistic now. This is just some guy looking for a hookup. He's not  trying to get dirt on Jared and ruin his career or anything. And Jared  really, really wants to do this.

He  switches on his lamp and sits up, takes a few minutes to undress, film a  little from different angles and decide which one is the best. And then  he goes for it.

With  the image of Jensen in his mind, he fucks himself into his lube-slick  fist, pumping his hand and his hips, slow and teasing at first, then  speeding up as he gets harder and harder.

He  doesn't try to be quiet, doesn't control his breathing or the moans  that come out of his mouth. He doesn't feel shy as he props the phone up  on his nightstand and turns himself on the bed, showing everything as  he uses his free hand to tease his asshole. He slides one finger in,  just barely, just enough to feel, as he strokes faster.

His  comes loudly, making a mess all over his fingers and his stomach,  holding back the urge to say Jensen's name as he groans and shivers  through the waves of his orgasm.

Quickly, he reaches for his phone and turns the camera off, then flops back down to catch his breath.

Damn.

He  hadn't expected that to be so hot, to get so caught

up in it. But he  wanted to give Jensen a good show, and the thought of Jensen watching  the video made it all so much hotter than usual.

Jared  doesn't even watch the video. There's no need, because he knows that no  matter what, he'll be self-conscious about it. Instead, he just sends  it to Jensen, holding his breath and laughing at his own ridiculous  behavior.

He watches the time, and knows that Jensen has had time to watch it twice when he finally gets a response.

***Jesus Christ that was hot***

Jared grins at the lack of punctuation, like maybe Jensen is too worked up to think about it. Did he really enjoy it that much?

***Yeah? Good.***

***Watching your hands on your cock makes me wish I was there to suck it. You shouldn't have to do that alone.***

Jared's spent cock twitches, and he settles deep into his bed, gets comfortable before he answers.

But before he can reply, he gets another text, this one from J.R.

***I'm  sure you're asleep by now, I know you have school in the morning. I  just wanted to say that I'm really excited to meet you next week.***

It's  possibly the worst timing in the history of ever. Jared immediately  feels guilty, despite having done nothing technically wrong. His  conversation with Jensen feels cheap now, and hollow.

And still exciting.

It's infuriating.

He texts J.R. back first.

***It'll be fun :)***

And  then he stares at his text thread with Jensen, wondering if he should  keep going, or shut it down. After a few moments, he responds.

***I wouldn't mind that.***

There. It's not an invitation or anything, but it's not ending the conversation. It's safe. Ball is in Jensen's court.

Jared closes his eyes and pushes his head back down into his pillow as he waits for Jensen to respond.

_I'm just bored. That's all._

And maybe J.R. will cure his boredom. Maybe they'll meet and hit it off, and he'll never feel the need to talk to Jensen again.

Or  maybe they meet, have an awkward dinner, and decide n

ever to see each  other again. In that case, Jared has a fun little dirty secret to get  him through the lonelier nights.

There's nothing wrong with any of that, is there? People do this sort of thing all the time.

He falls asleep waiting for Jensen to text him back, but he never does.

********

“I just can't, Mr. P. I look stupid.”

Jared grins at Matt, the lead in their play. “You do not. You look like Dracula.”

“But this is so...so feminine. Which is fine, I guess, but not really my style.”

Jared  bites his lip to keep from laughing. “Well, I really appreciate your  attempt at tolerance there. But this is your costume. You'll learn to  love it.”

Matt sighs wearily.

“And Matt?”

“Yeah?” He doesn't raise his head, still frowning down at the ruffles on his sleeve.

“If you don't think feminine is your style, you may want to rethink the eyeliner you originally wanted to wear.”

Matthew  groans and rolls his eyes, looking very much like the high school kid  he is, and Jared gives him a reassuring pat on top of the head.

“Mr.  Padalecki?” It's an adult voice calling him from the doorway, and it's  always strange to hear the formal title from colleagues. But they do  their best to stay professional in front of their students.

Katie  motions for him to join her in the hallway, and he ducks out of the  room just as their Lucy begins reciting the most dramatic of her lines.

“So J.R. told me you're going out next Wednesday, when he get back?”

“Yes. And you told me we'd never have to talk about this.”

Katie shakes her head. “I'm not...I mean, I don't want to bother you about it. I just wanted to tell you...”

She pauses, looking almost a little wistful, and reaches for Jared's hand.

“I just wanted to tell you that I hope you have a good time. Not just because he's my brother. But because you deserve it.”

Jared doesn't quite know how to respond to her unusual emotion, so he ignores it. “J.R. told you about it? He talks about me?”

Katie grins. “Oh, yeah. I think he already likes you.”

Before  Jared can process that information, his students call him back inside  the classroom, and Katie just nods and waves, then heads down the  hallway.

J.R. talks about him?

For  the rest of the rehearsal, just a quick run through in his classroom to  assure that everyone knows all of their lines, he's only  half-listening. The rest of his brain is panicking, like all the air has  been sucked out of the room.

This  is what he wanted, but it's happening really fast. J.R. already likes  him. And he's Katie's brother. He certainly doesn't want to hurt  anyone's feelings or piss anyone off, but he just wanted a date. Not an  assumed relationship of any kind. Maybe Katie's making too big a deal of  it. Or maybe Jared should have been more careful in how he spoke with  J.R.

By  the time he's in his car, ready to pull out of the school parking lot,  he's searching his brain for any way to lighten the weight of this date.

When he comes up empty, he makes a rash decision and sends Jensen a text.

***Are you free tonight? I'd love to see you.***


	4. Chapter 4

 Jared's  hand shakes just a little as he knocks on Jensen's door. The apartment  building hallway looks different tonight, different now that he's sober  and not drunkenly kissing the back of Jensen's neck while he unlocks the  door.

He's nervous.

Jensen  had seemed eager to see Jared again, had invited him over without  hesitation. The flirtatious texts had left no mystery to why Jared  wanted to see him: this was a booty call and nothing else. This was just  a stupid decision Jared wanted to make, one last time to get it all out  of his system, so he can say goodbye to this idea of Jensen that won't  leave his mind. So he can move on and focus on J.R., someone he might  actually want to see outside of a bedroom.

Jensen  opens the door with a knowing grin, bare feet peeking out beneath his  blue jeans, slung low on his waist and tight around his thighs. His  t-shirt hugs his body too, and Jared can't stop his eyes from lingering.

“Come on in,” Jensen says, stepping back to give Jared room. “You want a beer or something?”

“No,  thanks,” Jared says, stepping out of his own shoes and leaving them in  the front hallway. He follows Jensen to the living room, thankful to  hear the television in the background, filling the silence as he tries  to figure out what to say next.

“I was surprised when you messaged me.”

Jared can feel his cheeks heating up. “Yeah? I'm sorry if I bothered you tonight, I just-”

Jensen smiles. “You aren't bothering me.”

There's  a soothing tone to Jensen's voice, like he can feel Jared's nerves.  Jared looks up from his feet to find green eyes looking back at him,  open and teasing, and the nerves ease off. His hands steady and his  heart slows down, blood heating up instead.

Jensen  put his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “This was your idea,” he  says, his grin stretching into a real smile as he waits for Jared to speak. “Did you want to come over  just to watch TV?”

Jared's heart starts slamming in his chest again, but it's with anticipation now, excitement and arousal. “No.”

Without another word, he takes a couple of steps forward and kisses Jensen.

It's better than he remembers.

There's  no clumsy drunken lips this time, no limbs that aren't sure where to  go. Jensen slides his hands out of his pockets and grabs Jared's waist,  and this time their bodies lock together like that's where they're meant  to be. Jared can feel Jensen's chest against his, can feel his fingers  bruising his skin as he pulls him closer. He doesn't mean to moan, but  it comes out anyway, slides from his mouth to Jensen's as their tongues  meet.

It  takes them a few minutes to get back to Jensen's bedroom, hands pulling  at buttons as they keep kissing. They pull away just long enough to get  all of their clothes out of the way, and Jared gasps when Jensen pushes  him down on he bed, then drops to his knees. His hands creep up Jared's  thighs, slow and teasing, over the bare skin of his thighs and up to  his hips, ignoring his cock.

God,  he's beautiful, licking his lips as he stares at Jared's erection. He  lifts his eyes to make sure they are looking straight into Jared's,  then opens his mouth, lets the tip of his tongue touch the tip of  Jared's cock.

“This what you came for?” he whispers, and Jared can only nod in response.

Jensen  leans forward then, mouth sliding down over Jared's cock, hot and wet,  tongue so soft as Jared swells harder in his mouth.

_Holy fuck._

Jensen  keeps his pace steady as he bobs his head up and down, works his tongue  all over Jared's dick, finding every sensitive spot and driving Jared  crazy. His hands drift around, caressing Jared's stomach, then his  thighs, one hand eventually finding his balls and gently massaging,  causing Jared to grab his hair and pull, cock pulsing with the pleasure  of it.

He  pulls away before Jared comes, stands up and crawls onto the bed, right  over Jared, forcing him to lie down and scoot toward the head of the  bed.

Jensen  makes himself at home between Jared's legs again, only this time, he  moves his head lower and licks right over Jared's hole. Jared cries out,  claws at the sheets as Jensen does it again, tongue probing deeper this  time. He works him open slowly, first with his tongue, then with his  fingers, easing in and taking his time until Jared's moan is constant,  until his whole body seems to be tingling and burning with Jensen's  touch.

He's  so caught up, he barely notices the sound of the condom wrapper, but he  happily locks his legs around Jensen's waist when he nestles between  Jared's legs.

Like  everything else tonight, Jensen does this slowly, barely pushes in,  drops his forehead to rest against Jared's as he carefully fills him up.

Jared  digs his hands into Jensen's back, unable to stop himself from  honest-to-God whimpering, leaning up for another kiss as Jensen just  pushes a little deeper. Jared can feel his hipbones, can feel their skin  starting to slide with sweat, and he closes his eyes, lets the  sensations wash over him.

Jensen  starts to move then, slow at first until Jared starts urging him on  with his hands, then faster until he's slamming into him, grunting and  growling with each movement.

How does he do that? How do they fit so perfectly together?

Jared clenches around him and listens as Jensen moans. How can they have this effect on each other? They're strangers.

And  despite not knowing anything about each other, they know how to do  this. How to bring each other to the edge just to slow back down, how to  bite and tug and squeeze when they touch each other, how to give the  other one exactly what he wants.

Just  when Jared thinks he can't take anymore, that he's going to explode,  Jensen pulls out and rolls over, brings Jared to sit on top of him.  Jared sinks down without thinking, arches his back and sucks in a loud  breath as Jensen reaches up to pinch his nipples.

He  rides him hard and fast, tired of playing and teasing. The only thing  he wants now is Jensen's cock in his ass, thick and full and touching  places inside of him he didn't know existed. It's too much and not  enough, and the sweat is rolling down his chest as Jensen's hands slide  down his stomach to his cock.

He  makes Jared come all over both of them in three good strokes, swirling  his thumb around the head until Jared can't help himself.

Jared's  still shivering through it when Jensen comes, pushes his hips up and  leaves them there, buried deep inside Jared as he finds his own release.

Jared falls down to kiss him, long and slow until their hearts calm down, until they are breathing almost normally.

When  he rolls to the side, Jensen's sheets cool beneath his overheated skin,  Jensen gets up and heads to the bathroom. He comes back a few minutes  later with no condom and a warm washcloth that he hands to Jared.

The silence feels a little awkward now, and Jared isn't sure what to say as he cleans himself up.

“You're  welcome to stay,” Jensen says. It's a sincere offer, Jared knows, but  it just feels like too much, like he'd have to come up with words that  aren't there, force a conversation that doesn't need to happen.

“I really shouldn't. I've got school in the morning.”

“Yeah, I need to get up early, too.”

Jared nods, but says nothing. Instead, he gets out of bed and starts looking for his clothes, scattered around the floor.

Jensen flops back into bed and watches him. “So, how have you been?”

“I've been good,” Jared says, almost smiling at the absurdity of having small talk now.

“You said something about a play last time, didn't you?”

“Yeah.  It's coming along.” He doesn't mean to sound short or annoyed with  Jensen's questions, but he isn't sure how much Jensen actually wants to  know. “How about you? Up to anything interesting?”

“Not really. Work's been a grind lately, but other than that.”

“What do you do?”

“I'm in data.” Jensen grins, more charming than he has any right to be. “It's very vague and hard to explain.”

“Of course you are,” Jared grins back, pulling his shirt over his head.

“Seeing anyone?”

Jared  pauses at Jensen's question, unsure of how he's supposed to answer. Why  is Jensen asking about that? Would he care if Jared was? Or is he just  being polite?

Jared decides to be honest. “I have a sort of blind date this week. The brother of a friend. We've been texting.”

Jensen nods, but doesn't show much of a reaction. “You like him?”

His  arms are still behind his head, his body still relaxed and quiet, like  this is a normal thing for the two of them to be talking about. Jared  swallows and answers, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“It's too soon to say that for sure, but yeah. He seems worth a date.”

Jensen  sits up, his face just a little too close to Jared's. There's a strange  expression in the set of his jaw, the furrow of his brow, and Jared  can't quite figure it out.“I'm sure he'll like you, too.”

He almost leans in, feeling like a kiss is just one blink away, but Jensen stands up so abruptly it makes Jared's head spin.

“I'll walk you out.”

The  words are so cold, so different from the mood of just literal seconds  ago, that Jared's heart drops. He follows Jensen to the door, only  pausing when Jensen grabs a robe from the bathroom. His humiliation  burns in his face, and he wonders how he let this happen, how he ended  up here again. This time, he feels embarrassed by his lack of restraint,  by Jensen's obvious disinterest, and he's almost angry at how  meaningless the whole thing was.

Jensen  can't get to the door soon enough. Jared practically runs through it,  calling out his goodbye, and feels nothing but relief when he gets to  the stairwell and out into the fresh night air.

He  walks home quickly, lamenting how late it is and how tired he's going  to be at work tomorrow. Maybe he should call for a substitute and take  the day off.

But in all of his emotions, there's no regret. He had a question, and now it's been answered.

There's  no need to wonder about Jensen anymore, and he can focus entirely on  J.R., the person who might actually be worth a real date.


	5. Chapter 5

Jared's phone is oddly silent.

J.R.  is on his work trip, one that Jared probably should have asked about in  a little more depth. Showing interest is a good thing, right? He  doesn't even know what J.R. does, only that he's going to be gone to  Boston for a long working weekend, and he isn't really looking forward  to it. Jared misses their conversations more than he's prepared to. He  hadn't realized that checking his phone with the anticipation of a  text from J.R. is quickly becoming a habit, and he feels a little bored  and alone without the option to continue their ongoing conversation.

And  of course, he isn't texting Jensen. He knows all he needs to know about   _that_ now. Jensen is a gorgeous, sexually perfect guy that Jared spent  two scorching nights with, and now he's done. There isn't even a hint of  curiosity left in him. There was just no chemistry beyond the physical.  Even thinking about it now makes Jared blush a little with that weird,  cringing embarrassment that comes from awkward situations.

So his phone just sits there, finally still after a busy couple of weeks.

Jared  spends the weekend cleaning his apartment, watching a couple of movies  he's been meaning to see, cooking food he doesn't have the time or  energy to cook during the week. It's actually nice, and Jared really  doesn't start feeling a little stir-crazy until Sunday night when he's  getting his lessons for the week ready.

Just  to have something to do, he reads back through some of his texts with  J.R. and finds the messages setting up their date this week. They're  meeting for dinner at a little cafe Tuesday night. Casual enough that  there's no pressure. And they both have to work the following day, which  means that Jared has a very reasonable excuse to leave early if it  doesn't go well.

He's  starting to get nervous. New relationships are always scary, especially  the strange period of trying to figure out if it's really a  relationship or not. And while Katie has been great about not asking  Jared about it, he knows that things could get messy if he and J.R.  don't end up liking each other.

He  goes to bed with those thoughts on his mind, and they are still there  when he wakes up Monday morning. They stay with him through the day,  making him almost useless as he tries to get through the lesson in his  class, then rehearsal. Erin does most of the work and Jared leaves as  soon as he can get away.

J.R. texts him that night to let him know he's back from his trip.

 **How was it?** Jared responds.

**It was work. Lol.**

Now that Jared has spent all day worrying, he can't come up with anything to say. J.R. sends another text a few minutes later.

**Are we still on for tomorrow night?**

Jared  fights back his sudden desire to back out, the sudden nerves that take over. He's always nervous before  first dates, more nervous than usual with J.R. for obvious reasons, so  he does his best to push through them.

_You don't want to cancel. You're just nervous. Text him back._

**Sure :) I'll be the really tall guy in the blue sweater.**

Is  it strange that they haven't exchanged pictures or anything yet? Jared  hasn't even heard his voice. J.R. doesn't even know Jared's last name.

Well, that just gives them more to talk about when they finally meet.

 **I'll be there.** J.R. replies.

They  don't talk again for the rest of the night, and by the next day, Jared  has built up an insane amount of tension in his mind. For the second day  in a row, his heart isn't in his teaching. His students are unusually  quiet, picking up on his mood and keeping their conversations low as  they work independently at their desks. Jared gets up and walks around  the room a few times, but he doesn't say much as he checks to see how  everyone's assignments are progressing. A few of them use the time to  sneak onto their cell phones, but Jared doesn't have the energy to tell  them to put them away. He's not doing his job very well, so why should  they?

When  the final bell rings, Jared beats the students to the parking lot and  practically races home, jumps in the shower so he has plenty of time to  breathe before he has to leave for the date. He sits on his bed  afterward, hair dripping dry, and gives himself a pep talk.

This  should be fun. Jared wanted to meet someone, wanted to try for  something more than a one night stand. J.R. is a good person, fun and  smart, and Jared owes it to himself to go and enjoy an in-person  conversation at the very least. And isn't this what first dates are  supposed to be? Butterflies in the stomach and all that?

So why does his stomach feel like it has rocks?

Maybe  his experience with Jensen has left a bad taste in his mouth. He  shouldn't have gone over to Jensen's apartment the second time, and he's  just a little down on himself about it.

Well, J.R. doesn't know that, and he never needs to. This is a fresh start with someone who is actually worth Jared's time.

Jared  thinks back over the more interesting conversations he's had with J.R.,  and by the time he grabs his keys and his jacket, he's feeling pretty  good. Still nervous, but good. It's not like this is going to be a  horrible evening.

Twenty minutes later, Jared's changing his mind.

J.R. is ten minutes late.

Jared  has a coffee sitting in front of him on the small table, facing the  door, and only a handful of people have come in, none of whom could be  J.R. The small cafe smells delicious, the decorations are sweet and  cozy, and Jared knows this would be an excellent place for the two of  them to get to know each other better- if only his date was here.

Jared  watches as a couple of teenage girls walk in. If they go to Jared's  school, he doesn't recognize them. They order and lean against the  counter chatting, giggling every now and then.

Jared takes another drink of his coffee.

The  sun is starting to set, and the soft glow streams through the windows,  softening and warming everything up. Jared checks his phone.  Twenty-three minutes late.

Jared will give him a full half-hour, and will only stay after that if he had some sort of real emergency.

And tomorrow, he's going to give Katie a piece of his mind for setting him up with someone who wasn't actually going to show.

Three or four minutes later, just as Jared finishes his coffee, the door opens.

It's Jensen.

Jared  stops with his arm in mid-air, the empty coffee cup waiting to be set  down. This isn't happening. This is definitely some bad dream. Jared  will wake up any second and realize he had taken an accidental nap and  make it to the cafe just in time to meet J.R.

But when he pinches his own leg, it hurts. This is not a dream.

Jensen is going to watch Jared get stood up.

For  a split second, Jared hopes that Jensen doesn't see him, but he quickly  realizes he's places himself in full view of the door on purpose, and  there's no way Jensen won't notice him there.

Sure enough, Jensen heads right for him, gracefully sliding into the seat across the table.

“Hey,” Jensen nods, like Jared invited him to sit down.

“Hey,” Jared says, looking at the door. He doesn't want J.R. to walk in and see him sitting with another guy.

“How's it going?”

“It's  going good. I'm actually waiting for someone...” Jared lets the  sentence trail off, trying to be polite while also sending a clear  message that Jensen needs to go.

“I know.”

That gets Jared's attention. He looks from the door to Jensen's face, a smirk on those full lips.

“You know?” He fights to keep his tone light, to hide his annoyance at whatever game Jensen is playing.

“You're here on a blind date, right? To meet your teacher friend's brother?”

Jared's tight smile falters. “How do you know that?”

Jensen sighs. His face turns serious as he sits up straight, leans forward a little. “I'm your date.”

“That's impossible.”

“My name is Jensen Ross Ackles. Katie calls me J.R. Always has, no matter how many times I ask her not to.”

Jared  takes a moment to try to process Jensen's words, but he can't make  sense of them. Jensen is J.R.? He's been talking to _Jensen_ this whole  time?

“You aren't serious,” he finally says. “If you're J.R., you would have known it was me.”

“I  did know. Not at first,” he grins a little, but it's nervous now, like he's  embarrassed. “You told me you were a teacher that first night we met. When you stayed. But I  didn't know your last name or anything. It wasn't until you started  talking in our texts about Dracula that I thought maybe it was you. I asked Katie  what you looked like, and I knew.”

Jared's shock quickly turns to anger. “And you didn't tell me? What, you didn't think I deserved to know who I was talking to?”

Jensen just shrugs and slumps his shoulders.

“Seriously. You're J.R.? _You're_ the one I've been waiting on tonight?”

“I  almost didn't come, and then I stood out on the street for a  while trying to figure out how to tell you. I should have told you  before, but...”

“But what?”

“But  I didn't know how. And I liked you. After the way you left  that morning, I wasn't sure if you liked me, and I didn't want to ruin  it.”

Jared takes another moment, mouth hanging open as he lets it sink in.

“Wait,” he says suddenly. “I've been texting you _and_ J.R. It's not the same phone number.”

“Katie gave you my work cell phone number by mistake.”

Jared  thinks back to all of their conversations, the words flashing through  his head in high speed. Jensen and J.R. are so different. Jared can't  reconcile them in his mind, and it overwhelms him to think about it.

He stands up quickly, glancing over at Jensen when he does the same.

“Hey,  I'm sorry. I just...once I realized, it was just too awkward. And Katie  was so certain we'd like each other that I wanted to meet...I'm sorry.  But you don't have to leave.”

Jared  looks at him, tries to find the guy he's been slowly flirting with, the  one who can talk about great novels and make lame jokes that crack them  both up. All he sees is the one night stand that makes his dick hard  and the rest of him cold.

They can't do this. He can't stay. He'll explain to Katie, or come up with some lie. But he can't stay.

“I  think I do have to leave. You weren't interested in anything other than  fucking me, and I don't need to stay just because you discovered I  might be a good guy. You lied to me.”

“I didn't mean to-”

“Well,  you did. I talked to you, thought I was talking to someone trustworthy.  I thought I was here to meet someone I could potentially date, not just  spend a night with. And you _let_ me, knowing the truth the whole time.”

Jared's stomach turns when he has another abrupt realization.

“You- you knew it was me when I came over the second time. You knew I was talking to J.R., and you...we...”

Jensen keeps his expression carefully blank. “Yeah, we should probably talk about that.”

Jared  looks around, suddenly remembering they are in a very public place. The  cashier is watching them, but no one else seems to have noticed that  anything unusual is going on.

“No,” Jared says, grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair. “We don't have to talk about anything.”

The bell on the door of the cafe echoes in his ears as he leaves.


	6. Chapter 6

There are a million things Jared wants to say to Katie.

As  he walks home from the cafe, he comes up with an angry speech,  questioning why she would set them up in the first place. How could she,  knowing that her brother was a selfish liar? He'll remind her that he  didn't want to do this in the first place, and she hounded him into it,  and she owes him an apology.

By  the time he gets home, he's had enough time to calm down from the  initial shock, and he realizes it's not actually Katie's fault. She's a good  person and a good friend, and she probably has no idea what happened  between them. Jared comes up with another speech, this one benevolent,  where he forgives her for her brother's transgression and they bond over  the anger they both feel toward Jensen.

Of  course, that's silly, because Katie will surely side with her brother,  her own blood. Jared tries to figure out how to manage that, if they can  still be friends with this between them.

It  keeps him up after he tries to go to bed. He tosses and turns under the covers for a few hours, already regretting how early he has to get up in  the morning for school. It's almost three in the morning when he finally  admits he's focused on the wrong thing.

Katie has nothing to do with this.

This is Jensen's fault.

Jared finally lets himself think about Jensen. And once he starts, he can't stop.

Every  single word of his conversations with “J.R.” mock him now. His face  burns into the darkness of his own empty bedroom as he remembers all the  things he said, all the things they shared. And the whole time, he was  talking to _Jensen_. He was talking to the same guy who he had shamelessly  gone home with.

The things he'd let Jensen do to him!

He  remembers the texts afterward, too- the video Jensen sent him, the  video he'd sent back. The second night they'd spent together, just  because Jared had been horny and lonely.

Jensen had probably had a great laugh the entire time, seeing how obviously confused Jared was.

Jared's  alarm scares him when it goes off. For a minute, he lies in bed and  considers calling to get a substitute teacher for the day. But he knows  he won't get any sleep even if he stays home, and he'd rather distract  himself with his students than wallow in this mess all day.

He'll  just avoid Katie in the hallway as best he can and give himself some  time to figure all of this out before he speaks with her.

A  quick shower and change of clothes, and Jared's out the door. His phone  is on the table next to the door where he left it, and he sees he has  three missed calls and several missed texts from Jensen. Jared doesn't  look at them as he shoves the phone in his pocket, his stomach twisting  into a knot.

The  morning is a nice one, and Jared looks around at the crisp city wistfully, wishing he could enjoy it as it wakes up. He was supposed to be walking to  school thinking about last night's date, happy and excited and maybe  still a little nervous at the start of a new relationship. He _is_ thinking about last night's date, but it's  just a pounding in his head that won't go away.

As  the day begins and his first class starts research on a new project,  Jared's mind stays on Jensen. But the more he thinks about it, the more  curious he gets. His anger fades to the background as he starts asking  questions. Why had Jensen shown up at all? Why did he apologize? Why had  he acted like he wanted to talk things through?

And the longer Jared thinks about that, the more he wonders what would have happened if he stayed.

The  problem with Jensen had been that it was all superficial. Great sex, no  substance. The problem with J.R. was that Jared wasn't sure their  physical relationship would match the emotional one they'd built.

But now that he knows that they were both Jensen, he wonders if he could have had the best of both worlds.

 _It doesn't matter_ , he tells himself. _Jensen is a liar and there's nothing there for me._

The  hours and the class periods tick on, and Jared manages to avoid Katie,  only waving at her when he sees her at the other end of the hallway. He  can tell from her smile that she hasn't spoken to Jensen, and is  probably waiting to hear details of their date. Jared ducks out of the  building as soon as the final bell rings, leaving her to ask Jensen if  she really wants to know.

There  are more texts on his phone, messages Jensen sent throughout the day.  Jared reads through a few of them once he gets back to his apartment,  asking him to call Jensen back, that Jensen really wants to talk about  everything that happened, that he would like to explain himself. Jared  doesn't need to read the rest.

Can he ignore Jensen? Can he really just let this go and cut his losses?

Even  as he puts his phone away and starts cooking dinner, he knows the  answer to that question is no. He will eventually have to talk to  Jensen. He'll need closure on the whole situation, need to hear Jensen's  side so he can tell him how wrong it is.

But not tonight.

He boils water to make a simple meal of spaghetti, and as he's stirring the softening noodles, there's a knock at the door.

Jared  heads to answer it without thinking too much about it. Neighbors pop in  and out of each other's places all the time in Jared's building, and he  doesn't even look through the peep-hole before swinging the door open.

Jensen  is standing there, hands in his pockets, looking at his shoes. He  glances up when the door opens, surprise lifting the brows above those  bright green eyes. Jared steps back and considers closing the door, but  Jensen reaches out, a silent plea to give him a chance to speak.

“You didn't answer any of my texts,” he says.

Jared shrugs. “Don't really have anything to say.”

Jensen smirks, and Jared wants to smack it off his lips. “I find that hard to believe.”

“Look, I'm not really in the mood to-”

“I  know, I'm sorry.” Jensen slowly steps forward, face serious now. “I  just...I just wanted a chance to apologize. I called Katie and asked for  your address.”

“Did you tell her what you did?”

“No.”

Jensen  doesn't say more than that, and Jared stands there silent for a long  moment, wondering if he should allow Jensen into his apartment, make him  apologize in the hallway, or send him on his way. Finally, ingrained  manners take over, and he opens his door a little wider.

Jensen exhales like he's relieved, nods once before sliding past Jared into the entrance of the apartment.

“You're cooking something,” he says.

“Spaghetti.”  Jared doesn't elaborate or offer Jensen any. He silently walks back to  the kitchen, listening to Jensen's footsteps following behind.

He carefully doesn't look at Jensen as he stirs the noodles and turns the stove burner to a lower heat.

“So, are we going to talk?” Jensen's voice is hesitant and shy, almost embarrassed.

“You can if you want. Like I said, I don't really have much to say.”

“Fair  enough.” Jensen takes a deep breath. “I'm really sorry, Jared. I never  meant to lie to you. I honestly didn't know it was you when Katie set us  up. She's been after me to meet this guy she teaches with forever, and  when she told me he wanted to, I said yes. We'd been talking for a few  days when I realized it was you, and then I couldn't figure out how to  tell you.”

“You could have just stopped talking to me or something, rather than lie. You didn't have to make me think...I thought I was going on a real date last night.”

“You were. Will you turn around and look at me?”

His  tone is hard enough that Jared does as he asks, rolls his eyes and sets  the spaghetti aside before turning around, arms crossed, to meet  Jensen's eyes.

“I  like you, Jared. That's why I showed up on our date, that's why I kept  it in the first place. The more we talked, the more I liked you.”

“And  what about when I texted you instead of J.R. That night I came over?  You didn't think I was an asshole for wanting to fuck you again while I  was talking to someone else?”

Jensen  narrows his eyes. “Yeah, about that. Not that you owe me an  explanation, especially given what I did to you, but...what was that?”

Jared  forgets his anger for a moment, and his crossed arms turn into a  protective hug around his ribs rather than a defiant gesture. He can't  stand the way Jensen is looking at him, like he knows all of Jared's  secrets, like he can see exactly how messed up Jared is.

“I...I  don't know. It wasn't like I was cheating.” Jared isn't sure why he  feels the need to defend himself. “I just...I just needed to see you  again.”

Bad choice of words. Jensen picks up on it immediately. “ _Needed_ to?”

Jared  sticks his chin out and lets his arms fall to his sides, pulls himself  up to his full height. “Yeah. I had a good time with you, and I wanted  to do it again. And if I'm being honest, I was kind of wanting some fun.  J.R. wasn't exactly making me hot with all his philosophical  discussion.”

There's a genuine hurt in Jensen's eyes, but it doesn't make Jared feel any better.

“Do you think,” Jensen says, words slow and careful, “that there's any way we could just start over?”

“No! You lied. I'm embarrassed and it all feels too weird now, and I don't even think I like you.”

Jensen nods. “Fine. I'll go. If you tell me that you don't still have that video of me on your phone.”

“Wh-what?”

“If  you can honestly tell me you deleted it, haven't thought about it, and  that you aren't the least bit curious about me anymore, then I'll go.”

Jared  bristles at Jensen's words, not wanting to be manipulated into  anything. But the truth is, he's been half-hard since Jensen got here.  There's just something about him, something infuriating and primal and  sexy. Jared wants to talk, wants to find out if there really is a J.R.  under there somewhere. Someone nice and smart and funny, along with the  hot sex he already knows Jensen offers.

They have a lot to talk about.

But the longer they stare at each other, the more talking fades to the back of his mind.

Jared glances to make sure the stove is switched off, then turns and walks out of the kitchen, turning down his hallway.

“My bedroom's back here.”


	7. Chapter 7

Jared doesn't stop walking until he's next to his bed, pulling his t-shirt over his head and tugging at his own belt.

“What are you doing?” Jensen stops at the doorway, looking surprised and a little nervous about Jared's sudden change of mood.

“I'm undressing. Come here.”

Jensen  takes a couple of steps forward, into the room, but he doesn't get near  Jared. “We need to talk, Jared. I want to figure this out.”

“We can figure it out after,” Jared shrugs.

What  the fuck has gotten into him? He has no idea why he's doing this, why  he wants it so bad. It's unlike anything he's ever felt before. He just  knows that he doesn't want to talk, doesn't want to think about this too  much. For once in his life, he just wants to act.

Jensen seems to have other plans. “I'm not sure that's a good idea. Just slow down.”

Jared  shakes his head, still giving himself over to whatever this feeling is.  It's strange and unsettling, but it's exhilarating, exciting and  freeing to just let his instincts take over. “We don't have to do  anything you don't want to, but I don't want to talk. So you can go or  you can stay, but if you stay, I'm going to fuck you.”

“And if I go?”

“Then I guess I'll talk to you when I decide I'm ready to have this conversation.”

Jensen smirks, just barely, just enough for Jared's heart to beat faster. “And you really want to fuck me?”

“I really do.”

Jensen slowly shrugs out of his jacket and pulls off his own shirt, letting them fall in a pile on the floor. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Jared, I've always liked you. Of course I want to do this.”

For  just a moment, the spell breaks and Jared thinks clearly. “You've  always liked me? Then why did you act so...I don't know, _distant_ when we  hooked up?”

“Because  you did. Because you clearly weren't used to going home with people you  just met, and I didn't know you well enough to know that I should have  tried harder to see you again. But I always liked you.”

Jared  lets himself believe it, lets himself think for just a minute that  maybe there's a chance for them. Maybe it is just a weird  misunderstanding. Maybe they both messed up. And maybe they both deserve  another shot at this.

But Jared is still so angry that Jensen lied.

It  pulses through his blood, as hot as the need to have sex, almost the  exact same feeling. It heats his skin and hardens his dick and makes him  want to fuck Jensen into next week.

He stops trying to figure anything out. There's time for that.

Jensen  meets him halfway when he reaches out, their chests sliding together as  they kiss, fingers clawing at each other's backs, then pulling at each  other's jeans, both of them breathing hard and loud. Jared growls in  frustration when getting naked takes too long, pulling at Jensen's pants  so hard they could rip. He doesn't give a shit if they do. He needs to  get his hands on Jensen.

The  second they are both undressed, Jared pushes Jensen down onto the bed,  crawling over him and kissing him hard, all teeth and tongue, still  growling and groaning as he takes what he wants. Jensen relaxes beneath  him and lets him do what he wants, lets Jared suck at his tongue, bite  at his neck, grip his waist so tight he leaves red fingerprint marks  behind. He's willing and ready, giving everything up, urging Jared on  with his whimpers, with the way he pulls Jared closer, lifts his hips so  that their cocks bump together, both flushed and hard.

“Fuck,” Jared groans, rutting against him again just to feel the heat of his skin.

Jensen  locks his legs around Jared's waist and holds on, making sure Jared  doesn't get away when he leans toward the edge of the bed.

“Just  getting a condom,” Jared murmurs, yanking the drawer of his nightstand  open and digging around inside until he finds one, along with a small  bottle of lube.

It  doesn't take him very long to get Jensen stretched open on his slick  fingers. He isn't patient or particularly gentle, but Jensen doesn't  mind. He spreads his legs and moans into the dark room while Jared  thrusts his fingers in and out, licking and sucking at Jensen's hips and  stomach while he does, not stopping until he's using three fingers  easily.

When  he opens the condom, Jensen reaches out to take it, slides it on  Jared's dick for him. Jared bites his lip against the heat of Jensen's  hand, the way he brushes Jared's balls before he pulls away and gets the  lube. He slicks Jared up slowly, teasing as he works his hand up and  down, lightly squeezing.

Jared  pushes his hand away, ready to be inside him, and settles down between  Jensen's legs. He sinks in with no words, no more foreplay, not even a  kiss. Fast and hard, he pushes himself where he wants to be, groaning  loudly as Jensen opens up for him, grabs Jared's ass and pushes to take  him deeper.

Jared stills for just a moment, just long enough to take a breath.

All  his anger and lust, everything he feels for Jensen, is right there at  the surface, just beneath his skin. He's vibrating with it, exhaling it  with each moan, sweating it out in little drops that fall to Jensen's  own chest.

It's  the most amazing thing Jared has ever experienced. It's so much,  overwhelming, making him aware of every cell of his own body, of every  little sensation.

Jensen is perfect.

“Move,” he whines, trying to get Jared's hips working, but Jared grins and holds himself still.

“Why should I?”

Jensen stops and opens his eyes wide to stare up at Jared. “What?”

“Maybe  I should punish you. Maybe I should just stay right here and not move.  Or maybe I should almost make you come, then stop and leave.”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “I thought you wanted to fuck me.”

Jared almost laughs at how _not at all_ intimidated Jensen is by his threat. “I do.”

“Then fuck me. And do it hard.”

Jared  buries his head in Jensen's neck, takes a deep breath, and moves. He  pulls himself almost all the way out, then slams back in, not stopping  until he hears and feels the satisfying smack of his hips against  Jensen's body, until his balls are stinging with the sharp contact.

Jensen lets out one high-pitched sound, like Jared's cock punched it out of him.

Jared  can't go slow. He can't drag this out or tease. Everything he's feeling  bubbles up and pours out, forces his body to move, to slam into Jensen  over and over, to brace himself on his arms and let his lower body  thrust as fast and hard as is can.

He  can feel Jensen's nails on his back, scratching and breaking skin, a  burning that makes his dick swell even fatter inside Jensen's ass.

Jared  loses track of time. He has no idea how long he's been fucking Jensen  when Jensen finally pushes at his chest and forces him to pull away.

Jared  kneels up, dick throbbing, and watches as Jensen drips more lube on  both of them, then turns to get on his hands and knees, his head down in  the pillows.

Holy shit, he looks perfect, sweaty and flushed, begging for it with his ass in the air.

Jared  slaps his hand down on the fat of Jensen's ass and rubs the sting in,  appreciating the noise it draws out of Jensen, before he lines himself  up and slams back in.

It  doesn't take very long from this angle, the friction and the view of  Jensen's ass just right, and Jared feels his balls tighten up, feels the  pressure start to crest.

He  bends down and reaches around Jensen to stroke his cock, biting into  Jensen's shoulder blade as he starts to come. Jensen shouts too, but  Jared barely hears it over the roaring in his own ears, over the waves  of pleasure crashing and shattering through him. It goes on and on,  until he feels empty and drained, until he's so exhausted he can only  collapse on top of Jensen and try to catch his breath.

Jensen  grunts and squirms until Jared rolls to the side, and they stare at  each other in the dark, neither of them bothering to move out of the  sticky mess Jensen made on the sheets.

“Shit,” Jensen finally breathes, running his hands through his hair as he stretches.

Jared  still doesn't have the energy to move, so he just continues to stare,  enjoying the buzz as the sex-induced chemicals float around in his  system.

Jensen  reaches down and carefully takes the condom off of Jared, then tosses  it toward Jared's trashcan. Jared doesn't bother looking to see if he  made it. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters right now.

Except sleep.

Jensen collapses back down into the bed and closes his eyes, so Jared lets himself drift off as well, his mind finally quiet.

He  wakes up in a panic, feeling disoriented and thinking that he overslept, and is almost out of  bed before he realizes it's still very dark outside. Jensen doesn't wake  up when Jared gets out of bed and grabs his phone, sneaking into the  living room.

Two-thirty in the morning.

Jared  didn't sleep the night before, and now that he's used all his energy  with Jensen, he's exhausted. He quickly calls the automated system and  requests a substitute for the next day, then sends Erin an email telling  her where his emergency lesson plans are.

“What are you doing?”

Jensen's voice is quiet, but it still makes Jared jump a little in the silent apartment.

“Sorry. I was just calling in to work. I didn't mean to wake you up.”

Jensen  has on his underwear, but nothing else, and he lets his leg slide  against Jared's as he joins him on the couch. “Look, I can get out of  here if you-”

“No,” Jared says. “I don't want you to go. You want a beer or something?”

“Sure.”

Jared  goes back into the bedroom long enough to put on his own boxers, then  grabs them both a drink from the kitchen. Jensen watches him carefully  when he sits back down, like he isn't sure what's going to happen next.

“I'm sorry. I was acting a little crazy before. I didn't mean-”

“Jared, you definitely don't need to apologize for the sex.”

Jared smiles a little. “Good. Because it was damn good sex.”

Jensen traces a scratch on Jared's chest. “It really was.”

Jared puts his hand over Jensen's, holding it there. “I think we should just forget everything that happened.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.  I wasn't honest with you either, when I came over that night. I had sex with  you while I was talking to someone else. I'm not exactly innocent here,  either.”

Jensen smiles. “That's true.”

“And it's not like you knew from the start. You didn't mean to get into that situation. So let's just start over, okay?”

“Okay.”

“So...what now?”

Jensen  scoots closer and plants a kiss on Jared's shoulder, then trails his  lips up Jared's neck to his ear. Jared shivers when Jensen whispers  right against it. “I think we just go back to bed.”

Jared  thinks he's probably too tired to do anything more than sleep, but  Jensen doesn't seem to mind when Jared just curls up next to him and  closes his eyes.

They  have a lot to talk about in the morning, and Jared is finally excited  about it. Jensen and J.R. are the same person. All that physical  chemistry is with the same person who makes Jared think, who makes him  laugh.

He can't wait to wake up and figure out what Jensen is really all about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are ten total parts to this story! I will continue to post one chapter each Monday here on Ao3, but check out my Tumblr if you want to find out how to get the rest early!
> 
> www.ilostmyshoe-79.tumblr.com


	8. Chapter 8

Jared's on his second cup of coffee by the time Jensen wakes up and stumbles into the kitchen, hair sticking everywhere in spikes and scruff growing on his cheeks.

“Good morning,” he says.

The apartment is bright with the sun, and there's a murmur of noise from the street below. It's not loud enough to bother them on the third story, but it's enough to remind Jared that it is very much daytime. The spell of the night before, everything they said and did, can no longer hide under the blanket of silent darkness the night provides. This is reality.

“Mornin',” Jensen says, offering a grin that is only a little nervous. He grabs the mug Jared left next to the coffee pot and pours, leaving it black as he takes a sip and sits down. “I'm sorry this happened in the middle of the week and you had to take off work.”

Jared shrugs. “I would have been too tired to go in. That's what my sick days are for. Besides, it gives us a chance to hang out a little.”

Jensen nods. “I'd like that.”

“So, what did you want to do? We could maybe go see a movie or something...” Jared doesn't really want to sit in a theater where they can't talk to one another, but it was the first thing that popped into his head, the thing that seemed safest.

“Actually,” Jensen draws in on himself, pulls his mug a little closer and looks down at his hands curling around it, “I'd like to just stay here, if that's okay with you. Spend the day getting to know each other?”

Jared sighs. “That's the thing. I do know you. That's the thing I need to wrap my head around. That all those conversations I had with J.R., everything he and I learned about each other...that's you.”

“I know. So let's do that. Let's just hang out and get used to each other.”

Jared leans over, takes a chance on kissing Jensen, who leans into it and kisses back a few seconds longer than necessary. “Okay,” he answers.

They cook breakfast together, speaking a little awkwardly at first, but they soon fall into a rhythm and Jared starts to relax. He even laughs a real, deep laugh, one that rumbles out from in his gut, when Jensen tells a story about a failed attempt at homemade waffles when he was a teenager. Jensen smiles softly and stares a little, and Jared's cheeks flush as he holds the gaze, knowing that Jensen is feeling the same chemistry he is.

This is what they'd been missing when they'd both been acting like one night stands. Jared hadn't felt this heat before with Jensen, this want that has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with just wanting to know what Jensen's thinking, what he's going to say next. It simmers inside Jared and makes him feel a tiny bit dizzy as they sit down to eat, the conversation naturally flowing from one topic to another, never faltering even as they finish their food and put the dishes in the sink.

“So, you went on a business trip? What exactly do you do?”

Jensen settles back into the couch. Neither of them have bothered to get dressed, and Jared lets his eyes trail over Jensen's chest, at the thin trail of hair on his lower stomach that disappears into his boxers.

Jensen told him once that he was in “data”, and Jared suspected he was vague on purpose, just so he wouldn't have to have a full conversation. That isn't a problem now.

“It's kind of complicated. I analyze marketing and sales data, then travel to other companies and tell them how they can make more money.”

“So like, if I owned a business, you could tell me what I was doing wrong with my advertising?”

Jensen nods. “That's the bulk of it, yeah. It's not exactly glamorous, but I get to travel a lot, and there's job security.”

“Do you ever travel out of the country?”

“Not for business. I did study in Europe when I was in college. Amsterdam.”

Jared narrows his eyes and smirks. “Of course you did.”

“What does that mean?” Jensen asks, his expression innocent.

“It means that you were totally some frat guy in college, weren't you? Lived in khaki shorts and polos, were so charming that you never got in trouble for anything, and going to Amsterdam was your wild phase. Am I right?”

Jensen laughs. “And let me guess. You were a tree hugger, drank a lot of designer coffee and traveled to a third-world country with some charity organization, then talked about it for years afterward at dinner parties.”

Jared laughs with him. “Pretty much. Though I probably smoked just as much pot as you did.”

Jensen leans over then and kisses Jared, out of nowhere, catching Jared mid-laugh and surprising him into a gasp. It's a short, sweet kiss, more lips than tongue, Jensen's hands cupping his face and holding him still as he finishes the kiss and pulls away, eyes soft and warm.

“We could always go back to bed,” Jared murmurs.

“No,” Jensen grins. “We're talking today, remember?”

For a few hours, that's what they do. Jared asks Jensen about all the places he's seen when he travels for work. Jensen asks Jared all about teaching and the current play he's directing. They talk about Katie for a few minutes, and what a small world it is.

It feels good. Really good. All of the things Jared liked about J.R. are still there, and now there's physical attraction attached to it. As Jensen makes a joke, Jared notices how his eyes crinkle around the edges. When he explains exactly what he was doing while he was in Boston, Jared finds himself getting turned on by how competent he is, how intelligent and capable.

This is what he was looking for.

The thought hits him suddenly, and nothing has ever felt more true in his life.

The rut he was in, how lonely he felt, the reason the fling with Jensen didn't satisfy him- it was this that he wanted the whole time.

Jared has fallen for Jensen. He isn't sure if it happened through the night, if it happened just this second, or if he fell a long time ago and just refused to admit it to himself. But it's there. And it's real.

Jensen is in the middle of a sentence when Jared stands up.

“What?” Jensen asks, frowning in confusion.

“Come on,” Jared says, holding his hand out.

They're going back to bed, but Jared isn't feeling as needy as he was before. The fire in his gut is just a low heat now, warm and solid and softer than before. He doesn't want to fuck Jensen. He wants to kiss him, to touch him, to run his hands all over Jensen's body and show him how gorgeous he is.

Jensen reaches out and lets Jared pull him to his feet. He looks at Jared long enough to see his intentions, then pulls his hand away and takes a step back.

“Wait,” he says, his whole body tensing just a little, losing the relaxation of their morning together. “Before we...I just want to make sure we're good here. That you're okay with everything that happened. This wasn't exactly the ideal way for things to happen between us.”

Jared smiles. “I'm really okay. I get why you didn't tell me at first, and it doesn't matter now. We've figured it all out, right?”

It's the truth. While Jensen was sleeping in, Jared had time to really think things through. He asked himself what he would have done, how he would have handled finding out it was Jensen on the other end of those texts before Jensen knew. Jared wouldn't have had a clue how to handle it, and knows he probably wouldn't have done any better than Jensen.

Jensen nods and lets Jared pull him in for a kiss.

Jared lets himself get lost in it. All the emotions inside of him bubble up into the kiss, into the gentle press of his lips, the soft caress of his hands on Jensen's back, the slow movements that last longer than they should, just to let Jensen know how he feels. He sighs when Jensen sinks into his body, returns the kiss with the same sweetness.

Moving away from Jensen's mouth, he kisses over his jaw, down to his neck, then pushes his whole face into the bend of Jensen's shoulder and takes a deep breath. “I could do this all day. And all night. Why don't you stay again?”

Jensen laughs just a little. “Okay.”

Jared pulls his head up to see if Jensen is serious. “Really?”

Before Jensen can answer, Jared pulls him in again, kisses him with as much passion as he has in him. The electricity crackles between them, rumbles through his chest. Or maybe that's just Jensen's growl as he deepens the kiss. Jared doesn't pull away until he has to, until he's panting for air.

“I should have listened to Katie a long time ago,” he jokes.

Jensen's eyes flash, and he shakes his head like he's clearing it. “Yeah,” he agrees, but the tone isn't quite right.

“What is it?” Jared asks.

“Nothing.” Jensen smiles, then looks a little embarrassed. “Just, I forgot that I need to go into work.”

“What?”

“I forgot that I have a sales call.” Jensen takes another step back. “It's with one of my biggest clients, and it's too late to reschedule. I need to...”

Jared follows in confusion as Jensen heads to the bedroom and starts grabbing his clothes.

“You have to leave?”

“Yeah, I'm sorry. I totally forgot. If I go now, I can get to the office in time.” He shoves his legs into his pants without looking up.

Jared watches him dress, his heart thudding in his chest. Something isn't right. Jensen's trying to get away.

What did Jared do wrong?

Jensen is ready to leave in under five minutes, and Jared is dizzy with it as he walks him to the door.

“Well, if you can't stay, can you at least come back later? Or maybe we could go out for dinner?”

Jensen shrugs. “Maybe. I'll call you later when I get out of the office, okay?”

Jared nods, wanting to ask what the hell is happening. He doesn't have the nerve, and stays silent instead.

Jensen leans forward and kisses Jared goodbye, but it feels awkward now. Too hesitant.

And then he's gone.

Jared wracks his brain trying to figure out what went wrong, what he did or said that scared Jensen off, and he can't think of a single thing. Everything had been good, right up until it wasn't.

In all of his thinking, he starts to feel very silly and very hurt all over again. Did he make a mistake with Jensen? Should he have trusted his instincts when he first found out that Jensen lied, and refused to see him again? And the part of him that has already fallen for Jensen just aches, wants to know why Jensen doesn't feel the same way for him.

Jared doesn't want to feel this way, doesn't want to let his emotions get the better of him. But the last two days have been such an overwhelming whirlwind that he can't overcome it. He's too tired and drained to be strong.

Instead, he falls into his own bed and curls up into a ball, hoping that his body will allow him to nap while he waits for the call Jensen promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are ten total parts to this story! I will continue to post one chapter each Monday here on Ao3, but check out my Tumblr if you want to find out how to get the rest early!
> 
> www.ilostmyshoe-79.tumblr.com


	9. Chapter 9

Jensen doesn't call, and Jared doesn't have time to do anything about it.   

At first, it's on purpose that he doesn't contact Jensen. He doesn't want to seem desperate. And to be perfectly honest, he has too much pride. If Jensen wants him, he'll call.  Maybe Jared's lack of reaching out will make Jensen miss him. 

Okay, that kind of game is a little desperate, but Jared can't help it. 

But Friday rolls around and Jared's back at school, with a room full of teenagers, all panicking about opening night. 

"Guys," he grins, waving his hands until they all sit down and stop talking over each other. "Tomorrow is gonna be great. We have one last rehearsal in the morning just in case, but you know how hard you've worked. It's going to be perfect."

They all nod, look at each other and laugh a little nervously. A couple of them thank Jared for all of his hard work, and for putting up with them. In all the buzz, Jensen falls from his mind. 

Not completely, of course. The silence of his cell phone is still echoing in the back of his mind, a constant dull ache. But there's no room for it to move to the forefront, and by the time Saturday night rolls around, it really is the last thing on his mind. 

He's in the green room of the auditorium, checking costumes and making sure the students running the lights have their cues. He doesn't think twice when Erin grabs his arm, tells him that he's needed somewhere else. It wouldn't be opening night if there weren't an emergency or two somewhere.

It's when she turns down a dark hallway headed away from the auditorium that he asks "Where are we going?"

"Someone needs to see you."

Jared turns back. "Unless it's one of the kids, I really don't have time for-"

Erin grabs his wrist and pulls hard enough to make him stop. "Make time."

She points around the corner, gives Jared a little shove, then turns and practically bounces down the hallway back toward the crowd.

Jared rolls his eyes and heads where she indicated, stepping in his tracks when he turns the corner and sees Jensen.

The hallway is dark except for one emergency light, but it's definitely Jensen there, all broad shoulders and bowed legs, wearing a suit and holding a bouquet of beautiful red roses. 

"I just wanted to say break a leg." He grins sheepishly as the words leave his mouth, like he knows just how ridiculous they sound after the way he acted. 

A surge of anger floods through Jared. "What the _hell_ , Jensen? I thought you liked me! I thought we had figured everything out. And then you run out of my apartment like that, and I don't hear from you for three days? You can't just show up here like this and think everything's fine."

Jensen's face falls, but he steps forward anyway, the roses forgotten at his side. "I know. I'm sorry. I'll explain everything after the show if you'll let me. I just..." He holds the flowers up again and holds them out toward Jared like a peace offering.

There's something in his face, wistful regret maybe, that makes Jared reach out and accept the gift. "I really need to go."

Jensen nods. "I'll wait for you after?"

Jared turns and leaves without answering, trying his best to ignore it. He has more important things to do right now. 

********

The show is damn near perfect. Usually, Jared's happy if only a handful of the lines are missed. But tonight, there are only a couple of missed cues that the audience wouldn't notice, one jacket that had to be stapled backstage during a quick change, but that's it. Nothing that Jared and the students weren't prepared for. 

He's making notes the entire time, ways to improve the performance for their week long run, before they perform for the whole school, but he won't worry about them tonight. Tonight, he's going to celebrate a job well done by a hardworking, passionate group of students. 

They eat pizza on stage after the audience has cleared out, and he watches as they all talk and laugh, each of them exhilarated and proud. A few of them have even found new love and are dating now. Jared watches as his Dracula grabs the hand of the student director and kisses the palm of her hand.

That's when he remembers Jensen.

He has no fucking clue what Jensen could want. There's no possible explanation he could give that could come close to fixing this, nothing he can say that will change any of it or make Jared think they have a future together. 

But when Jared makes it out to his car almost an hour later, Jensen is waiting at his car, and Jared decides he has to hear whatever attempt he's about to make. 

"Hey," he says.

Jensen looks at him carefully, like he's analyzing the tone of Jared's voice. "Hey."

"Can we make this quick?" Jared sighs. "I'm exhausted."

Jensen takes a deep breath and nods. "I fucked up and I'm sorry."

Jared waits for a moment, until he realizes that's all Jensen intends to say. "That's it? That's your play here?"

Jensen raises his eyebrows. "You said to make it quick."

Jared scoffs and goes for his car door, but Jensen grabs his arm. 

"Okay, sorry. Don't go. Look, it was just...you said you should have let Katie set us up a long time ago, and I thought about how she said she knew I'd fall in love with you, and it felt like too much and I ran. I really like you, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a lot of expectations."

"And you thought I was?"

"You said you wanted me to stay, that you wished Katie had introduced us a long time ago. It all just felt so serious. And I thought we were still just getting to know each other, and..."

"And Katie said you'd fall in love with me?"

Jensen nods, eyes wide and serious.

Jared laughs. He can't help it. Everything about their entire relationship just seems so ridiculous, so much like a bad romantic comedy that he has to throw his head back and let out the loudest, deepest laugh his chest can muster. 

"What?" Jensen steps back, draws his shoulders in defensively. "Why are you laughing?"

"Because we can't get our shit together." The words come out high-pitched and a little muddled together as he keeps laughing. Jensen's frown deepens.

"No," Jared says through his giggles, "I don't mean..." He pulls himself together, bites his lip to stop himself from laughing again. "I didn't mean anything by what I said the other night. I was just enjoying our time together, and it just came out. I do that sometimes. Say things without thinking them through."

Jensen's frown relaxes slightly, but he doesn't seem completely convinced. 

"Look, I'm not gonna lie. I like you. More than I've liked anyone in a long time, and I was really excited about that. But I'm not proposing or anything."

Jensen relaxes a little more, then laughs once, the sound bubbling up out of him like it's a surprise. Jared grins, and then they are both laughing, not stopping until they can't breathe. 

"I'm sorry," Jensen says, sobering up enough to give Jared a sincere look, one that makes Jared warm from the inside out. "I guess I haven't always said the right thing myself."

"You really haven't," Jared grins. "Maybe we should start over one last time?"

"I'd like that. And this time-"

"This time, how about we just communicate with each other? I know a teacher who would be glad to work on it with us."

Jensen smiles and steps forward, hands curving around Jared's hips as he pulls him closer. The kiss is slow and sweet, like a wordless apology. Jared keeps his eyes open long enough to see that no one is left in the parking lot to see his unprofessional display, and then he gives himself over to it."

He doesn't know how long they kiss, how Jensen's hands get into his hair, how he ends up against the car with his hands on the small of Jensen's back.

"You know," he says against Jensen's lips, "That's a really nice suit. Looks good on you."

"But it would look nicer on your floor?" Jensen finishes the cheesy line and kisses Jared's chin, lets his tongue drift down the line of his jaw.

"Or in my backseat."

Jensen pulls back then, eyebrows raised and mouth open. "Here at your school?"

Jared laughs and stands up straight to fish his keys out of his pocket. "No. Come on."

Jensen smooths his shirt and jacket before walking around the car and sliding into the passenger seat. "Your place?"

"If you want. Or you could show me yours again."

"Okay, let's go."

Jared drives in the direction of Jensen's apartment, already excited at the thought of the night to come. 

Maybe this time, they will finally learn to communicate.


	10. Chapter 10

Jensen's  apartment is familiar, of course, and maybe that's what makes it feel  so strange. Jared remembers this place from a different time, a time  when he wasn't so sure about Jensen and he wasn't very happy with  himself. Being here gives him the same "not-quite-right" feeling in his  gut that he had before, and for a moment, he stops and just takes a deep  breath to clear his head.

Things  are different now. Jensen is holding his hand, and Jared wants him to,  wants to feel the warmth of his skin. There's no coldness between them  anymore, and Jared wants to simply spend time with him as much as he wants to  touch him.

Even so, there are a lot of emotions whirling around inside, and he pauses in the entryway as he takes off his shoes.

Jensen seems to sense his hesitation. “Hey, we can take this slow, if you want. We can just hang out for a while.”

That's  all it takes, just the thought that Jensen understands, that they are  here for more than just a fling this time. Jared relaxes a little and  smiles.

“Kiss me.”

Jensen  grins and leans in, his lips shaping to fit Jared's, full and soft as  they move. Jared concentrates on the feel of them, closes his eyes and  really focuses on how perfectly Jensen kisses, on how their lips fit  together like puzzle pieces.

Once  again, he loses himself in the kiss, and is surprised to find their  bodies locked together when Jensen finally pulls back for air. He  doesn't remember wrapping his arms around Jensen, but his hands are  beneath Jensen's shirt, fingers digging into the small of his back.  Jensen is leaning into Jared's body, letting Jared feel his growing  erection in his suit, pushing into Jared's thigh.

“Come on,” Jensen says, pulling away and grabbing Jared's hand.

Jared doesn't move as Jensen tries to pull him toward the bedroom.

“What?”

Jared smirks. “What are we doing?”

“What do you mean?” Jensen frowns. “I thought you wanted to...”

“To what? Tell me exactly what you want to do.”

Jensen just shrugs, still a little confused.

Jared  takes one step forward, just to close the distance between them. “We're  communicating now, remember? So _communicate_. Tell me exactly what you  want to do.”

Jensen  catches on then, grins and lowers his voice to match the deep rumble of  Jared's when he answers. “I want to go to my bedroom.”

“And?”

“And I want to take off all of your clothes, and I want to touch you.”

“Where?”

“Everywhere.”

Jensen's  voice goes even deeper, and Jared shivers with it, letting out a small  groan when Jensen scrapes his teeth down Jared's neck.

“Let me.”

Jared nods, but Jensen smirks and shakes his head.

“Not good enough. We're communicating, remember? You have to say it.”

Jared grins and kisses Jensen, then speaks right against his lips. “I want you to. Let's go to bed.”

They  move to the bedroom and undress each other quietly, kissing every now  and then, smiling softly as they lose their layers of clothing.

“Now what?” Jared asks, not wanting the game to end quite yet.

“On the bed,” Jensen tells him. “I want to look at you.”

Jared  slides onto the bed, kind of leans back on his arms and tries not to  blush as Jensen looks him up and down. He takes his time, and by the  time his eyes make it back to Jared's, Jared feels vulnerable and  exposed. But there's a heat and a freedom to it as well, a confidence  that grows as he notices how hard Jensen is, how much he obviously likes  what he sees.

“I  don't think I've _communicated_ just how gorgeous you are,” Jensen tells  him. “How much I love your long legs, and your chest hair, and...”

Jared can't help the grin on his face as Jensen leans over him to kiss the side of his face.

“And this mole. I love this mole.”

There's  a tenderness in his touch that hasn't been there before. As he runs his  hands up Jared's sides, gently pushes Jared down into the bed, Jared  can feel it there, how this is _more_ than anything they've done before,  how this is special.

Jensen  rolls into the bed so that they are side by side, chests pressed  together, and they kiss. They kiss, and kiss, and kiss, until Jared's  lip tingle, until he can barely feel them. Their fingers link together  and squeeze, holding on until Jensen finally sits up.

“What do you want to do now?” Jared breathes.

“I told you. I want to touch you everywhere. Just be still for me, okay?”

Jared nods, his cock twitching at the challenge when Jensen leans down and kisses down Jared's neck, biting at his collarbone.

Jensen  wasn't joking. He touches Jared everywhere, running his mouth and his  hands over every inch of Jared's torso, bumping between his ribs,  nipping at his abs, planting a smacking kiss right over his bellybutton.  He bites at Jared's nipples, just barely, making Jared arch up for  more.

When  he moves lower, pushes Jared's thighs apart, Jared starts panting,  hands clenching into fists as he tries to stay still. Jensen's tongue  trails over his cock, but only for moment, only enough for Jared to just  start to enjoy it, and then he moves lower, his tongue sliding down  Jared's balls and down to his hole.

Holy shit.

Jensen  teases, runs his tongue everywhere but where Jared now wants it most,  kisses and nips and tortures Jared until he's whining a high-pitched  noise he's never made before.

“Jensen...” he groans.

“Communicate,” Jensen says, a laugh in his voice. “Remember?”

“Will you just fuck me, please?”

Jensen's  laugh makes it out of his mouth then and tickles across Jared's skin,  but he does what Jared asks. He stops teasing and starts working Jared  open on his tongue, twisting and curling it until Jared is all but  fucking Jensen's face, thrusting down to feel Jensen's tongue deeper  inside of him. It isn't enough, and he starts begging, writhing around  on the bed and tugging at any part of Jensen he can get his hands on,  wanting more and deeper and harder and right fucking now.

He should probably be embarrassed, but...well, they are _communicating_ now, right?

Eventually,  Jensen leans up and digs a condom and lube out of his nightstand. Jared  watches him as he readies himself, and suddenly there are no more  words. There's no more begging,no more hot dirty talk to make this even  more exciting, no words than can capture everything he's feeling.

Jensen  goes quiet too, and doesn't say anything as he settles himself between  Jared's legs. As he lines himself up and pushes in just a tiny bit, his  hands find Jared's. Their fingers entwine as Jensen pushes his hands  down into the bed on either side of his head, squeezing gently as his  pushes his hips forward.

Jared  keeps his eyes open. There are still no words, but he realizes now that  doesn't mean they aren't communicating. Jensen eyes are soft and sweet,  serious as they stare down at him, and there are a thousand words  there, a thousand thoughts and feelings rushing between them. Jared  feels it then, the thing he wanted to feel before.

A connection.

It's  more than just the way Jensen's skin feels on his, more than the way  they find the right rhythm almost immediately. Jensen fills him up over  and over again, thrusts into him and finds that perfect spot every  single time. But what Jared's feeling is not just that. It's the look in  Jensen's eyes. It's the way he knows Jensen now, the kindness he can  feel in their laced fingers, the humor in the teasing way he moves his  hips.

They  take their time and move slowly, languid kisses and smiles, building  the speed and then backing off, learning new sensitive spots and ways to  make the other groan. It's the best sex of their entire relationship,  maybe the best sex of Jared's life, and he can't help but feel the hope  of something important happening between them. The promise of something  real and deep.

Later,  when they've had their fill of each other physically and don't have the  energy for more, they lie in Jensen's bed, curled together, kissing and  talking. They laugh and tease, then speak honestly and carefully, then  start round two by talking about all the things they want to do to each  other.

Jared knows that this is only the start. They have a long way to go, and they have a lot to make up for and catch up on.

But maybe, just maybe, they'll be alright.

Maybe they've learned to communicate. 

 


End file.
